Thought for the Day

I feel kind of bad about the whiny list of pet peeves I posted recently. I'm supposed to be answering your questions & here I am pointing out annoying things that maybe you hadn't noticed before but, since they've been brought to your attention, will now bother the hell out of you. Yeah, you're welcome.

In an attempt to redeem myself, I've decided to share some of my tried & true solutions to annoying situations. I can't take credit for creating them all but can personally attest to their success.

When standing in a line, you find yourself being encroached upon by a "creeper". This is a misguided soul who believes that invading your personal space will somehow compel the high school girl at the register to stop flirting with the bag boy & actually ring up your groceries.

One thing that works well is a move I call The Igor. When you next step forward, use only one leg & leave the other foot in it's original place. Now one leg is sticking out from behind you & prevents the weirdo from getting thisclose.

Also fairly effortless, scratch a random part of your body really hard. If alone, scratch in a few different places. That usually makes people back up. If you're with a companion, this is a great opportunity to say "Wow, I can't BELIEVE how fast this rash is spreading. How about yours?"

Some people just can't take a hint & you really have to beat them over the head with it. I don't recommend this except in the most extreme cases & in very casual surroundings. If nothing else works, turn around, look the creeper straight in the eye & say, "I didn't take my medicine today & I feel stabby." It works every time!


At 5/17/2006 11:57 PM, Blogger PghGuy said...

lol! Nice post!

You could always start carrying on an argument with yourself too. Slap yourself around a few times and that's guaranteed to clear things out in a hurry!


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