Pet Peeves

I need to vent. The world gets on my nerves a lot of the time. There are so many stupid people in the world & somehow I come into contact with a lot of them on a regular basis. Here is a list of my personal pet peeves. Of course, this is fluid & will change whenever someone pisses me off.

1. People who stand too close in a line (like breathing on my neck will speed things up? Not likely, but it could get you an "accidental" kick in the shin).

2. People who take mean dogs to the dog park. If your dog bites people, don't come here. Duh.

3. Noisy neighbors. (Now accepting suggestions for creative vengeance. Please submit.)

4. People who can't tell jokes but try anyway (No, wait, ummm the priest said that, not the rabbi).

5. When you go to the zoo & want to pet the kangaroos but they all just lie there looking strung- out. What the hell do they do to these kangaroos & is it legal?

6. When you add considerable time to your morning commute by visiting a local fast-food restaurant for a fountain coke & it's watered down. I mean, is cola syrup that expensive that McDonalds is forced to hoard it?

7. When you want a milkshake but the milkshake machine is broken.

8. Christian rap.

9. The guy that delivers our company payroll & attempts to make innuendo out of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile on my computer. Wrong on so many levels I can't even begin . . .

10. Reality television.

11. Paris Hilton. If I'd known you could get rich & famous by being a questionably attractive drunk, I may have made some different choices in life.

12. That I never win the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes even though I get all of my magazine subscriptions through them just in case it's real.

13. The fact that nobody with any authority over my student loans speaks English.

14. When you're trying to do something & see a HUGE spider on the wall but by the time you get a shoe it's gone & you have no idea where it is & can't relax in your own home because surely a spider that large has to be some sort of dangerous mutant.

15. The gay story line on The Sopranos. I don't have a problem with it but don't waste the limited, valuable time of this once-awesome show with lame soap opera crap. When I wait 2 years to see a gangster series finally resume, leave that shit to Bravo & show me some serious ass-kicking action. If I want to watch anybody making out, there are other channels I can subscribe to besides HBO. I watch HBO because I want to see gangsters doing "some serious gangster shit".

If you can name the character & the movie this quote is from, you win a prize. It's a stupid prize that will probably disapoint you, so don't go to any trouble but there is a prize.


What are your pet peeves? Get them off of your chest & share them with the world here.