Perverts

The creepy payroll delivery guy just left. Luckily, I wasn't alone in the office today. The guys know he's skeevy so if someone's in my office when he arrives, they stick around & we pretend to be very busy.

There's something to be said about men who make inappropriate remarks at work. Obviously the woman is trapped so it's quite the desperate pick-up move. In a very social work environment this can be acceptable but for the occasional visitor to a very small office, it's a big no-no. Even more disturbing is when there's no pick-up attempt involved & it's just raunchy remarks or lame innuendo for the sake of . . . well, I'm not sure what the goal is there.

I used to get a lot of that from the mailman but luckily he retired. I was never sure if he was actually hitting on me or making fun of me, but either way I didn't appreciate it.

The Murphy's Law of Womanhood is "Only the freaks approach you". Most of the guys I've dated have been set-ups or I approached them. But the mutants are on me like white on rice. I must send out some sort of freak vibe that says "Hey, gentlemen, this lady loooves a handlebar mustache, poor dental hygeine & suspenders. And shoes with velcro are a real bonus, too."

For instance, the mailman had a handlebar mustache & was significantly older than my father. We also have an extremely hot delivery guy who comes in almost daily, is very friendly & never even comes close to flirting with me. Do you see the reason for my frustration here? I should take this opportunity to apologize to Mr. Steph (who's not a mutant at all & is in fact extremely hot himself): You now I love you dearly but I'm not blind. And I'm just making a point here. ("I'm just making a point here, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it." Today's trivia: name this hilarious movie & impress all 6 of my readers.)

The delivery guy may be married, gay, simply not attracted to me or he may be very professional in his work, choosing to hit on chicks on his own time. But my point is, nothing, nada, zip from the hottie yet bums routinely walk in off of the street to tell me I'm pretty & ask if I'm single.

It should still be flattering, I know, because who am I to judge, right? But I'm a judgemental bitch & even on a bad day, it's hard to appreciate.

Please share your stories about unwanted advances in the workplace. I may not be much help in deflecting them but we can have a good time discussing them.