Again with the Weinermobile

Creepy payroll guy may be a closeted Ask Steph reader becasue he's ceased to sexually harass me. Of course, he did say that he was accused of sexually harassing other clients (unfairly, of course) so maybe he's been disciplined in how to not be creepy to clients.

Sadly, he is now connected in my mind to my beloved Weinermobile. Although I'm not terribly fond of eating hotdogs, I do love the whimsical nature of this vehicle. The Weinermobile is celebrating it's 70th birthday & this compels me to share my own tale of this hallowed American treasure.

It's always been my dream to drive it. Is it a full-time job or more of a contract thing? Can you make a living driving the Weinermobile? I had no idea but I knew it was what I wanted to do. I never expected anyone to support this pipe-dream, least of all my parents because they had far more realistic expectations of their kids, like law school & engineering.

But at one time, my mom encouraged me to follow this dream. At a loss as to how to even apply for this job (not to mention they probably weren't even hiring), I was whining about it to her one day. She suggested I send them a letter & see what happened.

I promptly set to writing my masterpiece, full of admiration & detailing my dedication to this particular career field. I spent days drafting, editing, redrafting until I was driving everyone around me crazy. Finally, when it couldn't possibly be any better, I licked that fateful envelope.

There were butterflies in my stomach as I dropped the letter in the mailbox. I skipped home to wait, full of anticipation. I'd be perfect, I thought, how could they not want me? I'd be the best Weinermobile driver ever!

A few days later, my dream crashed around me when the latest issue of some popular magazine was brought to my attention. They had recently interviewed the guy that drives the Weinermobile & he said he got the job by sending a well-crafted letter inquiring about the position. After that interview was published, they were buried in letters & emails from everyone & their mom who wanted to drive the Weinermobile.

Mine was lost in the crush of thousands of pleas, never to be valued for it's sincerity or originality. My dream was irrevocably lost. Like the day we stopped at a gas station & my parents were in too much of a hurry to let me take the Pepsi challenge, this will haunt me forever, keeping me from ever being completely at peace. Sure I don't think about it every day, but these things are always there, just below the surface, occasionally rising into my consciousness to torture me with thoughts of what might have been, if only . . .