In the Eye of the Beholder

My girlfriend is very pushy and mean. What should I do? - Anonymous

This one is tricky because I don't have much to go on.

The specifics of this situation could run the gamut from your girlfriend is a selfish, emasculating shrew to your girlfriend is perfectly reasonable & you are the problem. I don't know.

On the severe end of the spectrum, you're girlfriend is pushy & demanding. She wants you to work 3 jobs so that you can financially support her while managing to shower her with lavish treats such as fancy jewels & a summer home in the Keys.

On the other hand, maybe your girlfriend is 8 months pregnant with your child & simply wants you to put down the Xbox controller & bong long enough to find a job, since she's going to have to take a little time off.

I suspect your situation falls somewhere in the very large & potentially complex area between these two scenarios. But without knowing more about the situation, I can only offer some very general advice.

How is she pressuring you? Depending on what she's being pushy about, she may be selfish, controlling or she may just think she's doing you a favor by helping to motivate you. Speak with her about your feelings & find out why she's "pushy".

Maybe she doesn't realize that she's being pushy & by bringing it to her attention she'll have an opportunity to change her behavior for the better.

And "mean" is a pretty subjective term. When she says or does something hurtful to you, point it out to her & ask her why she felt the need to do or say that. Ask her what she hoped to accomplish by doing so.

Again, she may not realize that her actions are hurtful to you & bringing this problem to her attention is the first step in solving it. Some people with poor social skills or a lack of experience aren't even aware of their own unacceptable behavior.

The only way to try to fix the problem is by discussing it with her. If she's unaware, she'll appreciate your honesty & will probably make an effort to be a better person.

If she's dismissive of your concerns or in denial about her behavior, it may be best for you to break off this relationship & find someone who will respect you.

Good luck with your lady.


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