Envy

I've never been much of a fashionista, but there was a time when I'd search high & low for just the right piece. My spirit was soon broken by chasing the unattainable. I wanted a fuzzy leopard print dress. This was before the leopard print craze so the choices were few & far between, but they were out there.

I searched high & low for the perfect dress, imagining in my mind every detail. Basically what I wanted was a lightweight fall fabric A-line but I couldn't find one anywhere. Countless hours & various roadtrips were dedicated to my own holy grail of casualwear, to no avail.

Eventually I gave up & purchased an empire-waist version that served it's purpose, was comfortable & cute but somehow just never felt right. I was disapointed, but I knew I'd get over it. Until the day I saw her wearing my dress.

Was it a beautiful woman walking down the street? No. It was a fake goose on someone's lawn. If I'd seen the dress on another woman, I would have surely complimented it & fished for information. But the goose wasn't at all forthcoming. Resisting the urge to kick her in her smug beak was a very trying moment.

Of course, I got over it, although I've never forgotten. But almost 10 years later I was driving down a quiet street on a lovely fall day. As I admired the cloudless sky, colorful leaves & warm sunshine I caught a glimpse of something in my peripheral vision.

And it was a goose in a fantastically cut A-line leopard print dress.

I'm not really bitter anymore, not much. I was a little miffed at the time but I've gotten over it. But the current item on my must-have list is a Weiner Whistle from Oscar Meyer circa the early '60's. I'm having a lot of trouble finding one & would really love to add it to my Weinermobile collection.

If I see one hanging from the neck of a lawn gnome, I'm just going to do a smash & grab, I swear.