'Tis the Season

It's that time of year again, that magical time when we push & shove through the crowds, elbowing our ways to fantastic deals.

On Saturday, I stopped to fill my gas tank & was chatting with my friendly neighborhood convenience store employees. In the midst of discussing the awesome weather & our fantastically delicious holidays, another clerk straggled into the store, shaking his head.

"Stay away from K-Mart!", he announced loudly. "Don't go there for any reason!"

Normally, I do just that but we're running out of Beggin' Strips so I'd planned on picking up a few bags. Before I could even ask, he offered a harrowing tale indeed.

A quick jaunt around the corner for cold medicine had ended up being one of the most frightening experiences of his life. In his short journey from the medicine aisle - very near the entrance - to check out, he was subjected to bodily injury & witnessed physical altercations resulting from jerks taking stuff out of other peoples' carts.

A blue-light special ($30 no-name brand DVD player) was announced & all hell broke loose. His shaky mannerisms & halting speech were remniscient of refugees fleeing civil war.

Not willing to risk my personal safety for fake bacon, I opted to get Rocco a couple of cheeseburgers from the fast-food joint down the street. As I waited patiently for my order in the 1/4 mile drive-thru line, I decided that this will be the year I do all of my Christmas shopping on-line.

All of it.

I don't like to shop. It's a pain in the ass. I'm quite impatient & hate waiting in line. I can't stand invasion of my personal space & must repress the urge to slap away any hand that reaches in front of me. When hit with an errant cart by a clueless shopper, my first instinct is to start a nasty game of "bumper carts".

The prospect of some jackass taking something out of my cart thus forcing me to re-shop could potentially push me over the edge into a very dark place from which there is no return.

Since I'd rather not celebrate the season by posting bail, I'm committed to avoiding the stores as much as possible until approximately mid-January.

For my regular shopping needs, I plan on to wake up in the middle of the night on Tuesday or Wednesday (not the weekend) to hit the 24-hour stores. Really. And if I can't get it on-line, it won't be under the tree this year.

Of course, there may be a few small exceptions but all in all, my list should be fulfilled with a few clicks of the mouse. I'll group my purchases as much as possible to keep shipping fees down. Many retailers offer free shipping anyway. Even with shipping costs, I'm sure to come out ahead when you consider gas costs & the time wasted driving around parking lots & sitting in mall traffic.

The lack of impulse buys will keep me within my budget. My shopping efforts will be focused on gifts for others rather than stuff for me. I won't snap & assault anyone. There are just so many pluses & nary a con to this plan, so far. But can it really be that simple? Let's hope. I'll keep you posted.

Kramer vs. Everybody

If you're like me, you're sick & tired of hearing about Michael Richards. It seems to me that he may have had some sort of mental breakdown. (He had at least one in the past). Now I'm not saying that it's ok for comedians to just stand on stage & shout racial slurs at the audience but . . .

Well, wait a minute. Comedians do that all the time & people looove it. How can that be? Well, the comedians I'm talking about aren't straight white American folks. They're black, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish, homosexual, immigrants & handicapped.

For some reason, that makes it ok. It's never a racial slur if it's directed at Caucasian people.

Likewise, it's never hate speech if it's directed at women, children, the rich, lawyers, politicians, Italians, blondes, the poor, anyone from the South, people of Polish descent, the Irish, policemen & women, Catholics (especially priests), your own husband or anyone who has ever lived in West Virginia.

There are a couple of things particularly troubling about this incident. For starters, the "victims'" lawyer immediately demanded a monetary apology. It's impossible to maintain even an iota of integrity while cashing a check with "Sorry I hurt your feelings" in the memo line. If money salves your alleged wounds then you don't have enough human decency in you to even have feelings.

Hip hop & gangsta rap culture are celebrated & even emulated by many people. It's also defined by violent & racist language. I'd like to think that every person pissed at Richards has written at least one letter to the FCC or their local radio stations in protest of this pop music . . . but if everyone was as outraged by this term as they claim to be, rap artists wouldn't be getting richer & more famous every day.

In America, we're at the mercy of the media. When was the last time you saw copious news footage of a murderer, rapist or pedophile being called on the carpet for their crimes? But heaven help any person who commits some sort of perceived social faux pas because the media will flay you mercilessly. Seems pretty lame to me.

The media panders to the poltical correctness of the moment. The same media pressuring us to denounce Richards used the word "colored" with no apologies just twenty years ago. Only a week ago, that same media was salaciously anticipating OJ's new book.

Our culture should shape the media, not the other way around. It's time for America to take back our society from the reporters & broadcasters. They should be reporting what we do, not contriving & manipulating situations to garner the desired reaction from us.

In this country we have freedom of speech. That means that if you don't like what someone has to say, you don't have to listen; You don't have to condone it but it also means that you can't ever shut them up. What's ignorant or demeaning to you is empowering & motivating to another -- for example, words like bitch & nigger, which have been embraced by many women & blacks in recent years.

The downside to your freedom is that everyone else has it too. At some point, a person is going to spit your own sexuality, culture, etc. back in your face & you're not gonna like it.

But freedom is an all-or-nothing principle & it's not to anyone's advantage that we all give it up. If you don't want to be free, there are plenty of other places you can go. There are countries all over the world where people can't speak their mind for fear of execution.

Join the US military & you're almost guaranteed instant deployment to a nation that supports censorship. By the time your tour has ended, your idea of freedom -- and what it's worth -- will probably have changed for the better.

Odds & Ends

I know I should post more often & I'll try to do better but I have been sick. Very sick. For weeks. It probably has something to do with standing out in the cold & rain handing out flyers on election day. Maybe I supported the wrong candidates & God is punishing me. I don't know.

The pace at school is finally slowing down a little as the semester winds to an end. In fact, there's been such a remarkable downturn that I was able to get caught up on the entire season of Prison Break over the past week. Yay! I love that show.

Sadly, it's just a tease & is not indicative of what's to come. During my lengthy 14-day break between semesters, I'll be loaded down with assignments! They even take Christmas from us, it's so unfair. Right now I'm completely devoid of interesting topics of discussion, save for sports talk & commentary on my favorite tv shows.

By the way, can somebody please tell me why the FBI would bother harassing C-Note's wife & daughter when Teabag is running around the country with $5 million cash, murdering people? Let's take an informal poll: How many of you went to Halloween parties this year & saw at least one person dressed as "Injured Ben Roethlisburger"?

That's a great costume. I hope every single one won a prize. Far more original than the Crocdile Hunter, which was everywhere this Halloween. (Note to my brother: I want my stuffed manta ray back before your dog gets it.)

Bummer of a Nascar Championship. As a fan, I like almost every driver in the sport. Almost. Out of about 45 drivers, there are only 5 or 6 I don't like. Of course, one of them won. I personally believe anyone caught cheating more than once should be disqualified from contention, but that's just me. I can take comfort in the fact that this particular driver is frequently jeered & that the majority of fans were probably disapointed with the outcome this season. Perhaps it will encourage Nascar to dump the ridiculous "chase" format for good.

I'm done wallowing in self-pity & have simply become resigned to a never-ending cold/flu thing. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'll blog more. I promise.

Final Round-Up

Ok, ok, I know I've been slacking. But just to prove my point, I've gone to considerable trouble to compile a list of reasons why you shouldn't cast a vote based on the local newspapers' endorsements.

Election day is almost upon us & this state really needs some help. Are the same old dinosaurs going to wake up Wednesday morning with a new outlook on life & sudden motivation? No, they're not. If anything, they'll be more secure in their greed & self-serving agendas.

There are a lot of important issues facing voters across the state. One's personal view of abortion & smoking are hardly relevant for a state legislator. So do not blindly support a candidate merely because the popular local paper endorses him/her.

Visit www.vote-smart.org to get the scoop on the candidates. It's a non-partisan site offering information on candidate positions, campaign finance sources, incumbent voting records, public statements, interest group ratings & much more.

Our local media is doing a horrible disservice to voters by ignoring the real issues & focusing on two hot-topic but essentially inconsequential non-issues. If you don't believe it or feel the previous examples given may be coincidental, just visit these links to see for yourself:

In the 46th district, the PG endorsement goes to the candidate lacking a specific plan to reduce the size of the legislature. This is also the candidate who would choose to raise income tax & sales tax to eliminate property taxes. The other candidate would like to find alternative funding for schools so as not to overburden taxpayers or drive down consumerism. Unfortunately, the guy with the better ideas & more comprehensive plan also doesn't support a smoking ban. Sorry but this kind of logic couldn't help me to find my way out of a paper bag. Thanks but no thanks.

With elections looming, our local media missed a prime opportunity to demand answers from the candidates. An October 11 article introduced the findings of a Harrisbug study that proposes creating and/or raising regional taxes to fund our transportation deficit. The problem with that is 1) our taxes are already quite high 2) we pay a ridiculous gasoline tax 3) taxpayer funds for roads & bridges are continually diverted to bail out mismanaged & unapologetic quasi-governmental public transit like PAT & SEPTA.

Please lawmakers, take more of my hard-earned money, charge me more for gas, force me to drive on crappier roads & then give my money to PAT so that they can raise prices, cut services & pay more drivers triple their base salary in overtime wages.

This is a huge issue crucial to our state & region. In order to make an informed & educated decision as to a candidates qualifications, how about asking their views? Why not ask candidates to provide solutions, proposals or at least some vague suggestions? Our infrastructure is exponentially more important than whether or not you can smoke in a bar, yet the topic hardly receives lip-service in comparison.

It doesn't hurt to add that our state legislature costs more than $431 million per year & our state budget has increased drastically (which dramatically out of step with inflation & with comparable states) under our current leadership. Why isn't the local media focusing on this waste in light of our infrastructure crisis?

And although the PG has endorsed Jason Altmire, they still deserve to be chastised for defending Melissa Hart's rotten voting record in an Ad Watch article on October 24.

The piece states that Ms. Hart did in fact vote with the President 89% of the time (or more) but contends that this is a lower number than other Pennsylvania Republicans. What does that have to do with anything? Her vote is her vote, regardless of what anyone else is voting.

Some other politician votes against his/her constituents more often than Ms. Hart does, so that somehow absolves Ms. Hart from her duty to represent those who elected her to office? Certainly not. It has no bearing whatsoever on the matter.

The article also questions Altmire's choice to criticize 9 specific Hart votes by reasoning that these particular votes all took place among party lines with very few defectors.

So what? As my mother would say, if every other Republican legislator jumped off of a cliff, would you jump too, Melissa? That's no excuse for ignoring the voices of your constituents. She is a representative of the voters, not a representative of her party. If she'd prefer to serve the party then she should bow out of elected office & become a paid employee of the GOP.