8/26/2006

Angry Cities & the People Who Love Them

A recent article on MSN Health asks "How Angry Is Your City?". The 100 angriest cities have been ranked -- from most angry to least -- for your information. I was kind of hoping for examples, so I was a little disapointed by the succinct explanation & bare list.

But then I realized that the simplicity allows us to draw our own conclusions which is sometimes more fun than boring old facts. FYI, da Burgh is #90, which means we're kind of angry sometimes but not nearly as angry as 89 other US cities. Which is good, I guess.

The ratings were based on high blood pressure rates as reported by the CDC, instances of road rage & violent crime statistics. It would be interesting to know if the author considered fan behavior in stadiums because, if so, we might have ranked higher had the list had been compiled after the psuedo-punk post-Pirates show the other night.

Anyway, I've decided to randomly pick on some other cities, many of which I've never even visited, just because I'm kind of a jerk & think my own jokes are hilarious.

The angriest city in America is Orlando. That's right, our very own Disneyland is a virtual hotbed of aggressiveness. The armchair psychologist in me suspects this is a direct result of the correlation between large crowds, stupidity & aggravation.

I'm just not a crowd person, mostly because I'm just not a people person. It's one of my personal pet peeves & I could go on forever but I do realize that nobody cares so I'll just give one example. I recently chose to watch the entire second half of an NFL game not from my awesome 3 rows from the bench seats on the 40 yard line but rather from a ramp at Heinz Field.

There I was, sitting in this great seat watching the game, but the idiot next to me just couldn't stop being a dumbass. By halftime, both of my feet had been stepped on repeatedly, I'd been elbowed in the neck, face, arm, ribs & left boob more times than I could even count. I'd been whipped thrice by his terrible towel, whacked with his hat & sneezed on.

Yelling at a football game doesn't bother me one bit, as I often lose my voice after a particularly action-packed game. But this guy was really on my nerves. He was apparently attempting to start a new catchphrase & just kept yelling stupid things that made no sense.

Most disturbingly, he'd holler "Go Deeeee!" at the offense or "Go Ohhhhh" at special teams, often cheering for players that were not actually in the game.

The selfish jerk to my right was half in my seat as well but it really wasn't Mr. Steph's fault. The grotesque female specimen to his right just coughed & sneezed the entire time, never once covering her mouth but turning her head away from her companions (i.e., toward Mr. Steph) every time she let a mucous-fest fly.

She also had long, greasy unkempt hair that she was constantly flouncing out behind her. I don't know how he kept his composure the entire time because if that filth carpet had touched me even once, I would have completely freaked out then rushed home to boil myself, but that's just me.

Oh and the grandfatherly type in front of us physically shoved me out of the way as we walked down the steps in tandem. He mistakenly though that the cameraman was focused on his empty seat & that he was missing an opportunity to have his wrinkled old ass-face on tv.

I know what you're thinking, Steeler fans are all inconsiderate drunks. Well, these gems all appeared to be stone sober. But I learned something very important in my most recent frustrating encounter. I'm going to practice my pratfalls from now on.

The next time a stranger shoves me out of the way, everyone within a mile radius is going to see an Oscar-worthy performance. I'll cry out in pain & fear in a squeaky, girlish voice. As concerned bystanders come to my aid, I'll tearfully point to the offender. "That's him! That's the man who ran past & shoved me for no reason!", I'll sniffle before breaking into heartwracking sobs.

But that's a whole 'nother post.

People suck. For every normal considerate stranger you meet in a crowd, there are 20 jerks that will do something painful, disgusting or otherwise offensive. Now that I know dropping three grand will get you a VIP pass allowing you to cut to the front of the line at every attraction, I plan to die relishing the fact that I've never visited a major amusement park. Obviously, they're for suckers & I've worn that label enough times to finally know how to avoid it.

8/21/2006

Response to Formerly Enlightened

{Response to a comment from the previous post}

While I feel your pain for having been treated badly by your ex, you need to understand that it has absolutely nothing to do with feminism. In no way does feminism advocate treating others badly, ruining your husband's life or doing awful things to anyone (including men in general).

It does not encourage drug abuse, abortion as birth control, swinging, BDSM (or any particular lifestyle, for that matter). Nor does feminism devalue or reject family values of any kind.

The fact that your ex-wife sounds like a bitch with questionable morals has nothing to do with feminism. There are plenty of rotten people in the world & lots of them are men. Plenty of awful people are stringently anti-feminist but are still worthless human specimens.

I know plenty of men who have done much worse things to people than what your ex has done to you but I don't advocate hating all men because of these few jerks. If I did, that would seem pretty foolish, wouldn't it?

Should rape victims hate men & be anti-man? I mean, these guys do horrible things to women so by your logic, every female crime victim should become "unenlightened" after being victimized. Should women with crappy exes hate all men? Most violent criminals, rapists & serial killers are men. Should society be "anti-man" because of the awful things men do?

Of course not! So why would you be anti-feminist just because your had a bad experience & blame the woman?

The point I'm trying to make is that women & men of all ideological beliefs act like assholes & being a feminist has nothing to do with it.

Some of the kindest, warmest, most gentlemanly fellows I have known in my life were complete chauvenists, as well. Being scum & supporting gender-equality are completely unrelated.

Your first error is linking the two when there is in fact no link. Your "reasons" for being anti-feminist have no rational basis. Your second error is claiming to have been enlightened at some point & then having regressed because of your ex.

Not possible. If you're enlightened, you don't just regress to unenlightenment. A truly enlightened man would recognize that his ex is an awful person & that her gender has nothing to do with it.

Also, you shouldn't judge all women based on one woman (your ex). Intelligent women would be extremely offended to be lumped into the same category as this skanky shrew merely because of a lack of penis.

From your remarks, I don't think you were ever truly "enlightened". Maybe that's why you hooked up with a bad specimen in the first place. Men who respect women attract women worthy of respect.

That said, here's some advice:

If you pay child support, you're entitled to visitation & parenting time with your children. The fact that your kids sound really messed up would weigh heavily in your favor in any court -- obviously, their mother isn't doing much good raising them so mandatory time with dad is warranted.

Second, you have to try to get over your anger at her. If she's as awful as you say she is, then stop wasting your energy on her in any way. Hating someone takes a lot more out of you than not letting them get to you. You can't just forget & cut all ties because of the kids but you can stop letting her get to you.

It's easier said than done & you can't change your feelings overnight. It will take a lot of effort in the beginning. But once you do it, it will be well worth it. It'll save you a lot of energy & heartache in the long run.

If you refuse to get over it & choose to wallow in misery, blaming other people for the way your life turned out, then you have to be prepared to realize that maybe she wasn't the problem.

Dude Looks Like a Feminist

What do you think about men wanting to be feminists and joining a feminist movement?


Thanks for asking, Anonymous. I think it's great if men want to be feminists & work to further the cause.

The role of men in the feminist movement is one of the keys to it's success, as men have a disproportionate amount of authority & power in our economy & society. For the goals to be achieved, those in a position to make change (usually men) must subscribe to the philosophy & work toward change.

It doesn't make a man gay or weird to be pro-feminist or feminist, although some people might be suspicious of such a man. Would you complain about the whites who fought against slavery in the 1800's, or people of European descent working for Native American causes, or a Christian supporting a Jewish movement? Of course not, you'd applaud it & this is quite similar.

But unlike many social theories that exist to support or advance a minority segment of society, feminism is unique because it touches all of us in tangible ways. While it may be in everyone's best interests in a general, theoretical way to achieve a lot of social movement goals, every single person in the world can tangibly benefit from gender equality.

Other social issues may or may not directly affect any given person in the world, thus making people feel removed from the topic or indifferent to the cause. But gender affects all of us.

For instance, for a married man with a working wife, imagine the benefits to the family if she earned a true wage as he does. How might it have improved your family life or childhood if your mother had earned a fair wage?

In the workplace, fair wages would boost morale & production. In the community, equal financial opportunities for women spurs new enterprise & helps neighborhoods thrive.

It would improve the quality of life for the millions of children being raised in single-parent female-headed households & their parents.

This is just one economic example as to how it affects all of us. Even if you're a complete chauvenist pig, feminism has benefits for you. If you don't like women in the workforce, raise their wages so they don't have to work as many hours, ha ha.

But there are much more dire consequences as well, for all of us. Look at the nations that violently discriminate against women & you'll see hotbeds of unrest in the world. If we can achieve respect & equality of women in such societies, perhaps the violence & hatred would abate to some extent as well. That could could lead to less genocide, terrorism & wars.

Domestic violence against women is linked to child abuse, animal abuse & other criminal activity. It stands to reason that if we can prevent one, we may be able to prevent the others. Think about it: if a guy has no respect for the women in his life, he probably has no respect for children, strangers, animals or the environment, either. If we can change that mind-set about women, we may better work to change bad mindsets about other issues & behaviors.

It's ridiculous that (roughly) half the world's population is discriminated against simply by having been born female. But the sad reality is that much of the world is a patriarchal society & even in the US, which is supposed to be the land of equality for all, women are still second-class citizens.

Even in the 21st century, women earn less than men for the same jobs. More disturbing is that even in traditionally female industries ("pink-collar jobs" such as teaching, administrative work, social work, etc.) men out-earn females. That's right, if you take 2 secretaries, one male & one female, even when the woman has more experience or education, the man will usually earn more.

So come on, guys, we need you to be feminists too! For more information , check out these great sites:

XY: men, masculinities & gender politics
Feminist.com: Men's Groups

8/19/2006

Ask Me Anything

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I’d like to make the world a better place by offering my wise yet zany advice for all occasions & needs!

Paging Common Sense

A recent news story detailed the plight of a little girl who was mauled by a dog at a local animal shelter. Although I don't recall seeing any coverage at the time of the attack, at least one local paper followed up with the victim as she recovers months later. At just 6 years old, this child has facial scars & has been seriously traumatized by the attack, as you might imagine.

What's even more sad is that this attack should never have even happened. The mother of this child is so clueless & irresponsible, it's sickening. She apparently knows nothing about dogs, thus wouldn't be a responsible dog owner anyway & shouldn't have a dog.

Even more disturbing, the girl's father is now suing the animal shelter. No good can come of this & it's one of those situations that just makes you want to cry in frustration. It's the now-typical saga that plays out daily in our zealously litigious society: Someone does something very, very stupid. They hurt themselves or an innocent party by doing this stupid thing. Then some innocent third party is somehow held responsible for consumer stupidity. As a result, society as a whole suffers in various ways. Here's what happened:

The girl's mother & her boyfriend took their two young daughters (ages 4 & 6) to adopt a dog. The 6 year old was attracted to a malamute because he had the same name as her father & brother.

This 80-pound dog was a stray that had only been at the shelter a few days. Employees knew nothing about the dog's background or temperment with children, but this was of no concern to the mother.

Rather than seek out a dog that the shelter staff could vouch for, or a dog that had a good temperment with kids, the adults wanted this dog. The mother, boyfriend & two girls went into a room to play with the dog but the dog seemed uncomfortable. Then the dog & the little girl were left unsupervised & the attack occurred.

Mom's first error was making a poor choice of pet for small children. Her second error was ignoring what the dog tried to tell them. Instead of recognizing that the dog was anxious & maybe not ready to be adopted, didn't like strangers or didn't like children, she simply chose to assume that he needed to relieve himself.

So the mother left the room to go fill out adoption paperwork!

Picture it. You go to a shelter & you're daughter says, "I want that one, Mommy, because he has the same name as Daddy!" The dog she's pointing to is bigger then both kids & is of an aggressive breed not known for being fun-loving family pets. You ask about the dog & the staff tells you they don't know anything about this stray.

That means he's either been abandoned by a terrible owner or he's a feral dog, neither of which bode well for a kid's pet. They bring the dog into a room to interact with you but instead of everyone having fun, the dog is stressed & agitated. Do you immediately request adoption papers? I think not. This woman isn't knowledgable or responsible enough to even be a dog owner, let alone raise children.

But the story continues:

After the mother leaves the room, the dog knocks over the 4 year old, then puts his mouth near the 6 year old's face. Instead of moving the dog away from the girl, the boyfriend turns his back on them. When he turns around again, the dog is biting the girl.

What happened to this little girl is heartbreaking. But the idea of her father suing the animal shelter is even more so.

Shelters shouldn't be held responsible for your lack of common sense when adopting a pet.

Having adopted shelter dogs for years, I'm astonished by her total lack of good judgment. Any responsible dog owner would elect to steer kids toward a dog the shelter staff can vouch for, even if it means traveling to other shelters to find the "right" dog for the family.

At the very least, she should've elected to return at a later time, once the shelter was more familiar with this new dog. Adult animals with completely unknown backgrounds are rarely a suitable pet for small children, if ever.

Anyone looking to adopt should be cautious of a new stray, since the shelter hasn't yet had time to evaluate & the animal comes with no background information. When the dog showed anxiety, the adults ignored him. The dog was clearly either aggressive or felt threatened (which will also cause aggressive behavior), yet his warnings were ignored & they wanted to adopt him right away!

If these people don't recognize the most basic communications, they aren't equipped to be pet owners. Chances are, this dog's behavior is a direct result of some idiot just like these two having mistreated him his entire life.

And turning your back on a stray dog & a small child is about the most irresponsible act an adult can make, second only to bringing the two together in the first place. What happened to the child is awful & I hope with all my heart that she's able to recover fully, both physically & mentally from this attack. But the people responsible for her trauma are the adults that accompanied her that day, not the shelter.

Her father should be suing her mother & the boyfriend, not the Humane Society of Cambria County. Why victimize a non-profit community service organization & allow the truly guilty parties absolution? This situation is a result of parental negligence (or just plain old stupidity).

Shelters are always in need of resources; many are run almost totally from donations & volunteer efforts. Taking their money is a lose-lose situation for the entire community: Already strapped funding will be further depleted so countless animals in need will go without help, employees could lose their jobs or the shelter could be forced to close.

If the shelter closes, neighbors may be more inclined to buy than adopt, creating a larger burden on other shelters in the area. Or the area could may become overrun with abandoned animals, if there's no place to take them. In those situations, some people always take to "euthanizing" unwanted pets in inhumane ways. If they've raised an animal unsuitable for domestic living & have no shelter to dump it on, people will generally shoot a dog or abandon it to starve to death, get run over, etc.

What's also very disturbing about this story is that the girl's father hopes his lawsuit will force shelters in general to "improve" screening procedures? Screening for what? Are they supposed to give each person that walks in a mental competency test to determine whether or not that person is responsible enough to be a dog owner?

How is the shelter in any position to tell a person they are an irresponsible parent? Shelters exist because irresponsible, ignorant people make stupid decisions when choosing a pet.

In essence, shelters exist solely because people like her make stupid choices & then refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. So someone has to step up & be responsible for the animals & the safety of the community. Shelters of all types may begin to turn away strays, large breeds, animals with unknown backgrounds or even volunteers for fear of liability claims such as this one.

They perform an invaluable public service to both people & animals. The employees & volunteers do it at great personal risk & sacrifice a lot to make the world a better place for all of us. It should be criminal for any person devoid of good judgment to walk into a shelter, expose their own child to harm & then try to hold the shelter responsible for the damages.

These organizations always need your help, so please remember to donate time, money or goods as frequently as you can. Most shelters post wish-lists on their websites so that you know exactly what to donate. If you're interested in making a goods donation please contact me. Mr. Steph & I try to take periodic carloads of goods to Action for Animals in Latrobe, where we got Rocco.

Without animal shelters, we would all suffer in ways we don't even realize. Even if you're not an animal lover, imagine how your community would suffer without them as a public health issue: Animals would be abandoned in the streets, communities would be overrun by strays for lack of cheap spaying & neutering. There'd be danger to everyone for lack of free & reduced-cost animal vaccinations, obedience classes & similar programs. Please realize that they benefit everyone & need help from all of us, all of the time.

8/18/2006

Ooooh, a Mystery!

I love mysteries. Since my earliest childhood, I've dreamed of being a detective. Unfortunately for me, I'm quite possibly the most unobservant person in the whole world. Also, I have the attention span of a gnat. Obviously, these qualities do not make an ace detective.

I love CSI & think that would be the world's coolest job (yes, I know that no real police force actually goes to that much trouble for any case). Sadly, I also know that as a CSI, I would quickly be fired for having trampled through the crime scene like a bull in a china shop, missing crucial & obvious evidence, sneezing away trace, etc.

As a kid, I'd make up elaborate mysteries where none existed, just for the oportunity to "solve" them. Of course, that was always a disapointing end, since there was no mystery & none ever spontaneously appeared in my investigation.

That leaves me with writing as my only chance to solve mysteries, since the only ones I ever encounter are the ones I can dramatically conceive in my own imagination. But every now & then, I do get lucky & come across a genuine puzzle that requires investigation. Now if only I could actually get to the bottom of one successfully . . .

But I digress. My current favorite case is regarding the mystery beast recently found dead in Maine. If you haven't seen the headlines, check out this strange tale on MSN, "Is dead beast the marauding 'hybrid mutant'?" Residents have been reporting sightings of the mysterious creature for about 15 years & the article interviews some who've seen it up close.

It's described as having "chilling cries", glowing eyes, an unbearable stench & an "evil" presence. Pretty severe, huh? Guesses of it's origin include fisher, coyote, dingo or wolf-dog hybrid but one look at the photo makes it pretty clear that this animal is not of the canine family as we know it.

For starters, it's got disproportionately tiny ears that stand straight up, more bat-like than canine. And where wolves & the like have elongated, narrowing muzzles this thing has a wide, snub snout more remniscent of a pig. Eyewitnesses claim it had protruding fangs which curled over the lips, which is also not a typical canine characteristic. In most species of that family, the fangs are mostly straight with a slight inward curve.

What's truly remarkable about this story is that the humane services & wildlife officials of the area declined to view the carcass. Ummm, hello, but when a strange mutant creature just appears in your town, isn't that your job?

A few years ago, a hunter killed an animal that could not be identified although officials claim that DNA testing revealed it to be a wolf-dog hybrid. Well, if you've ever seen a wolf, a dog or a hybrid, this is quite obviously not one of those.

My thirst for answers here is insatiable & I plan to google this diligently until I find out more. I'll kepp you posted & please contact me if you have any information on this story.