I'm a Dinosaur

The other day at the bank it was very quiet then suddenly blaring techno music came out of nowhere & I turned to see a woman who was about 150 years old answering her cell phone. I looked at the teller & said, "Wow! That tune is very Night at the Roxbury" & we both giggled.

What gave me pause was that I overheard Mother Time on her phone call & she was talking about having sent & received some pictures on her phone. That threw me because I am officially the last person in the nation that just has a regular cellphone which does not take pictures.

It's just not a big deal to me. I'm just not a chat-on-the-phone type of girl & anyone who knows me knows the liklihood of calling my cell & it ringing is slim to none. I never turn it on. Some months I look at the bill & see I haven't made or received a single call. So why upgrade to something fancier? It's just one more thing I'll eventually drop in the toilet or out of a moving Jeep & have to replace, right?

Maybe not. I may actually need a picture-taking cellhone & you'll never guess why. Over the past few weeks, I've noticed I keep seeing people that look like cartoon characters. Now, hear me out, I'm not completely insane. I was at a drive-thru the other morning (awaiting my first precious fountain coke of the day) & the guy in front of me looked exactly like the Sea Captain from the Simpsons. I swear to God.

Last time I went to the mall, I saw a kid in Spencers that looked exactly like Speed Racer. Today I sat in traffic & noticed that the woman in the car behind me looked just like "Carol" from SNL -- you know, when Horatio Sanz dresses up like that white trash chick.

If I could get pics of these people, I could start my own Mullets Galore-esque website to post them & bring the world hours of enjoyment. Guess I have to go out & get a new phone. Maybe I should buy one of those Nextel's made for contractors that are wrapped in a thick layer of waterproof rubber . . .