For the Guys . . .

I've been getting some kinda personal questions from our male readers. I'm going to sweetly assume that these are real questions & not just a lame attempt to make a strange woman think about your naughty bits. Nothing is off limits here so don't be afraid to ask. If your question is too crass I may not post it but that doesn't mean I won't answer it. Even if it seems like a joke, it will probably make the site because I have a great sense of humor & like to be a clown. Which brings me to my first guy query . . .

Why are my balls itchy? - Jerry Itchynuts

Jerry, hygeine is a very important part of life. The initial concern that comes to mind is: are you washing properly? If the answer is yes, then you need to make sure to use a very mild soap, so as not to irritate delicate skin. I suggest using something like Johnson's Baby soap but if you don't want to smell like a girl, try lathering your hands & washing off your sensitive parts, rather than rubbing the bar of soap directly on your boys.

The other possibilities are: you're not rinsing off the soap completely or you just aren't drying off totally. Dampness can lead to problems so make sure you dry off completely & if there's still a problem you may want to use a jock-itch cream or spray to clear it up for good, then follow the above instructions to keep it from recurring. And make sure you're shaking off well after each whiz. Urine drying on the scrotum is most likely an irritant. Hope this helps.

I've found that being alone, I often pleasure myself up to 4 times a day. Do you think this is a bit excessive? Oh, and I'm thinking of getting a wax job. Any comments from the female perspective on this? - Single guy in Pittsburgh

I have to say, that does seem a little excessive. Are you sure you don't have OCD? It seems to me that if you're doing it 4 times a day, maybe you should save up your horniness for 1 really good one. You'd save time & potential johnson wear & tear. I'm thinking that one really good one would hold you & make 3 more sessions unnecessary. But that's just a guess.

The second part of your question makes me wonder if the first part could be a result of you looking like a sasquatch. But you've had relationships before so I'm guessing you're no hairier than any other guy. I'm totally against male waxing but I could be in the minority here. Frankly, I'm turned off by guys who feel the need to wax, get manis/pedis, spend a day at the spa or use any kind of department-store-bought designer skin creams.

Many of my friends agree that we don't want our men to be as feminine as we are. However, if you read trashy ladies mags like Cosmo, the reader polls claim that women like their men hairless as babies & fashionably metrosexual. But these polls also reveal that most readers who vote in their polls are total skanks that sleep with their guy's friends when he travels on business, lie to potential suitors to steal their friends' crushes & make out with other girls in bars to get free drinks. So I guess it all depends on what you want to attract.

I hate to tell you to wear your fur with pride & stop getting your nails buffed, because maybe that's what a lot of women want in a man. But at the same time, I don't see a need to go through it. Men are supposed to have hair on their bodies. It's what makes them different from women & the differences are what attract us to men in the first place, right? Otherwise we'd all be lesbians & enjoy free drinks for life.

The bottom line is what kind of image you want to project to the world. I see a waxee as a high-maintenance guy that spends too much time looking in the mirror & agonizing over himself. I get enough of that from myself & my girl friends so I don't want to have to deal with it from my man. But many people view it as a perfectly acceptable or even necessary habit & who am I to say they're shallow & nitpicky?

If you insist on doing it, ask your doctor for some painkillers. It's excruciating, gawdawful pain but alcohol will just make you bleed even more. No professional is going to let you bleed all over them or their equipment so a respectable place won't wax ya if you're tanked. By the way, same goes for tattoo parlors but getting inked is a walk in the park in comparison.